rebel without a cause — or, my mission

I tend to see myself as very adaptable. flexible. floating through life like a leaf being carried by the ever changing winds. a bit poetic, no? Alright Clouds, where are we going with this? Well, I was thinking at how not good that can be at times. Explore? Of course, friend. So first, let's just [...]


Clenched Fists.

[anxiety & happy] Clenched fists -- this was my unconscious attempt to contain the anxious energy flowing through my mind, through my body. ..take a look for yourself:       It was pretty eye-opening to see it captured clear as day. irrefutable evidence of the anxiety that rushed within. to realize that everything you were trying [...]

comparison…or inspiration?

So I recently figured out another of my ((many?)) problems: my comparison group consists of women over 50, on their second marriage, and with more life experience than a 20-something should pressure herself to have. I also recently realized one truth: I am that 20-something. “Happiness is not an absolute value. It is a state [...]

i’m sexy and i know it — or not exactly, but i’ll take biutiful

okay, not exactly. but sorta exactly. [sides notes: the following writing is a bit...poetic. filled with lots of fluffy words and honest emotions and unexpected vulnerability. so be kind as you read. also, i should really be sleeping. or writing one of a million things that may-possibly-actually determine my future un poquito. but that can [...]


After being continuously asked about my theory of change, I’m starting to not like the word. but the actual change that is occurring seems unavoidable. so, i guess it's not that bad. Finding clear signs of change, small yet significant, has been helpful in pushing me forward, pushing  me toward better. Recognition of steps toward [...]

I can feel it slipping away – or 4 ways I know this is happening and what I plan on doing in order to hold on tightly

I can feel it slipping away – or 4 ways I know this is happening and what I plan on doing in order to hold on tightly Remember that list? You know, the one I made about a week ago? The one about my amazing experience after true disconnection but even truer connection? Well, folks, [...]

that’ll never be me — or surrendering to discomfort.

I’m sitting in a local coffee shop. Finally found one that isn’t Starbucks so my heart flutters a little as it reminds me of my time in Austin. Anyway, I’m sitting here having just finished an early morning yoga session, done out of necessity and randomness and sleepy decisions. I walk out to my car [...]