In a different life, today…

In a different life, today... I might be celebrating 10 years with you perhaps still unaware that unhappiness isn't a necessary part of life ...or love assuming that the highs and lows are a personal fault an "I must have done something wrong" mistaken ideal one you never seemed to concern yourself with or seek [...]


Cognitive Dissonance — or, remind me who I am

I've been having this struggle lately (/slash/ not-so-lately) and I was thinking maybe you've been there too. Or maybe you'll be there someday. Or maybe you've seen someone who's been there. Or...whatever, the point is I asked myself, what's the best thing to do when I'm struggling a bit? explore, of course. sooo....shall we? [and [...]

Conversation in the Clouds.

Current goings on in my head are annoying. The back and forth is getting tiring...and old. This may be more of a venting post but I think there's some good thoughts for all of us to ponder toward the end so sticking through the crazyness if you can may be worth. Per uge (or as [...]

things i’ll never be.

so i've been thinking some lately on things i'll never be. not in the "self-accepting, i ain't got time for that, nor do i want to try and please you" type of way. more in the "self-blame, self-critical, and whatever other negative self- you can think of" sense. comparing myself to others. to what others [...]

12 words of wisdom i should’ve probably listened to when i wrote them

12 words of wisdom i should've probably listened to when i wrote them sometimes, when i'm lost for words or inspiration, or just filled with curiosity on the course my life has taken (through my eyes), i reflect back on my words. raw. and present. and honest. i think of how wonderfully i was able [...]

Confession #10: I need to be a better friend…but maybe we all do

Confession #10: I need to be a better friend…but maybe we all do I’ve always felt this way. About you. And her. And them. And him. Especially him. I could reach out more. Invite out more. Accept invitations more. Call. Damn it, I know I could call. But I don’t. I pray for you. I [...]

“love me when i least deserve it” — or maybe they’re right..

not sure of the fairness of the above statement. but, i found it somewhat helpful in putting into words my current thoughts. [fair warning: this may be a bit vague. this may seem to not make sense. this may be slightly self-deprecating and away from the whole "seeking happiness" purpose i usually write about. but [...]