rebel without a cause — or, my mission

I tend to see myself as very adaptable. flexible. floating through life like a leaf being carried by the ever changing winds. a bit poetic, no?
Alright Clouds, where are we going with this?
Well, I was thinking at how not good that can be at times.
Of course, friend. So first, let’s just put it out there that I’ve known my basic career trajectory since around senior year of high school. And let’s face it, it’d be a whole lotta sad if I’d spend the past 10 years pursuing undergraduate and graduate degrees just for fun. *Side note: …that number just made me really sad. 10 years is what I’ve spent in an attempt to accomplish all this…whatever “this” is. Aaaanyway, happy thoughts. Let’s focus. So yes, I’ve had a pretty good idea of what I’m doing. But, at the same time, I’ve still been floating. Sometimes it feels as if my goals are too broad, that I want to accomplish too much, that I have so many directions I’d like to go in, that all that results in a sort of standstill, like the damn winds have stopped blowing and I have to magically find legs as a leaf and choose a direction. …so that’s what I’m doing.

I was challenged recently to think about my mission statement after expressing my multitude of clinical/professional interests. It got the wheels spinning. And, on a separate occasion, a supervisor described me as a “rebel without a cause.” While the context was a positive one, the wheels, which were already spinning, made me scream internally, fueled by the thought “but, I really want to have a cause!” Plus also too, it seems slightly pointless to keep rebelling if I don’t know what I’m rebelling against, no?
So then I thought, if clarifying a mission statement can help guide me professionally, maybe it can help guide my life! …obviously deciphering my life mission statement is a much bigger task than figuring out my professional one but, as you know, I’m more of a go big or go home kind of person. Someone (somewhat rudely) once pointed out to me that I can’t do things in an average way. That I either don’t do the thing at all or I go balls to the wall. Sure, I can see examples of this in my life, like getting a mountain bike and immediately signing up for tours and races instead of leisurely riding. or starting bikram yoga and signing up for a 60-day challenge on the same day I signed up for my basic membership. or having 4 presentations at a single professional conference. Whatever the case, I get it, it can be a bit off-putting. And honestly, I’m okay with that because, really, I learn better that way. I learn about my limitations and my strengths. I surprise myself. And even though I’m scared shitless of it most of the time, I can’t deny that challenge drives me.
So, what’s my life mission? Well, speaking honestly, I really believe it’s to make the world a better place. Don’t laugh. But you can call me naive. It’s okay. I get it. rockyLike Rocky said, “the world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows.” (although, since I’ve been in Miami, I have a good argument for why this isn’t necessarily #truth…but I won’t go into since part of what I’ve decided will help me achieve my mission is staying focused on one thought/task/purpose at a time. …we’ll see how long that lasts).

So yes, my mission is to work toward making the world be a place where the good outweighs the bad. or rather, where the good overrides the bad, helping people achieve the ability to experience the bad fully and honestly, but in a way that doesn’t allow that experience to take over their lives. Silver linings. Positive thinking. Reframing. Coping. Whatever you want to call it, I want to do it. I’ve always wanted to do it. True story: I started using Facebook shortly after it first came out about 10 years ago and, given that I am a lover of quotes (obviously), I immediately used a quote by the Dalai Lama in the “about me” section….because, really, Mr. Lama just seems to get me:

Yup, that’s my life mission. Although lacking a lot of specific details in terms of execution, it was much easier to describe my purpose than I had thought it’d be. Considering I’ll be turning 28 tomorrow, I think today was as good a day as any to figure this out. …okay okay, I hear you; I should probably get on figuring out my professional mission statement so I can get this whole “professional student” thing over with before I’m 30.
So, what’s your mission?

3 thoughts on “rebel without a cause — or, my mission

  1. I really like what your saying Claudia I’ve got a tendency to do thongs before really thinking them out. Now that I am older I have a tendency to think more, sometimes to much. My main goal right now is to get my eating down so I’ve got more energy.

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