sex and sexuality and womanhood.

[feminism and happy]

“Feminist: the person who believes in the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes”

Many moments led to this post (…and to another that is in the process of being written but not quite ready to be shared):

`sobering conversations with my mother, much different from before….in a good way

`an honest talk on choice with my best friend over beers, void of judgment

`intimate moments after a night out, chosen and remembered

`coincidence and conversation with my sister involving a bad romantic comedy

`current events and #yesallwomen articles (which I recommend you take a moment to read…if you can. ..right now, right now. I’ll wait.. I must admit, my heart hurt a bit after reading some of these, but in that let’s-do-something-about-this-please! type of way. more on this, too, later)

`internal reflections on sex and sexuality and womanhood as all of these things collided (purposefully?) within this past week

I’m not sure when I’ll shared what I’m actually intending (still working on being bold, remember? the potential for judgment, like with much of what I reflect on, is definitely there/here. as always, I don’t ask that you agree with what I say or what others say; I simply ask that you add a bit of personal reflection to the judgments that may come). anyway, the above experiences did bring up a very related and relevant topic: feminism and the different meanings it holds.

I’m not sure how much I’ve written about the topic overtly but I do know it comes up in many of my writings, like my conversation with my Mexican mother referenced above and how things look better with the lights off and about  doing it like a dude. It’s a big part of why I write: figuring out my happy and who I am as all of the parts intersect to create me as a whole, me as a Mexican American female with countless other equally influential parts. I made the mini-video-reflection /slash/ documentary /slash/ whatever-you-wanna-call-it below last summer as part of a course project with the help of some very kind souls who shared their thoughts with me. It combines a few of my favorite things: consciousness-raising music, the words of others, and thought-provoking images and ideas.

so why did this come up (again) now? why am I sharing this? good question.

maybe it’s because I’m supposed to reflect on recent-not-so-recent actions and values and potential cognitive dissonance…
Or maybe it’s because I’m supposed to shift focus to this topic given dissertation deadlines and potential article publications and (very much needed) need to get things accomplished this summer…
Or maybe it’s because I’m supposed to bring about reflection on the topic since it’s on the minds of many but not overtly discussed…

…I don’t really know the reason.

I do know that all of these events came together this week, reigniting my passion for this topic and thinking and learning and writing. …truth be told, I’ve been in a slump lately. Details of this aren’t the point of this post; just know things haven’t been getting done and cycles attempted to creep back in and I didn’t like it, leaving me unproductive on so many levels and feeling overly self-critical. But, in answer to your (my?) question of why this, why now: well, today seemed like a good a day as any to do something will all of this given that I can feel the fire again, the passion for all this.

With that said, happy viewing (and reflecting), friends.

(*note: I recommend you pause to read the quotes. As an amateur documentary maker, video editing is a bit…well, amateur. So frequently pausing is definitely recommended, unless you’re a super speed-reader, which is cool too).

***side note: as I’m typing this, I (like always) have music accompanying my thinking. Pandora decided it was a good time to introduce to me a new song — “Flawless” by Beyonce featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. …seriously, that just happened. They say that Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen” (and by “they” I mean wikipedia so don’t quote me on the quote. aaanyway, moving on..); moments like this make me believe in this even more wholeheartedly than before ღ

“We teach girls to shrink themselves
To make themselves smaller
We say to girls,
“You can have ambition
But not too much
You should aim to be successful
But not too successful
Otherwise you will threaten the man.”
Because I am female
I am expected to aspire to marriage
I am expected to make my life choices
Always keeping in mind that
Marriage is the most important
Now marriage can be a source of
Joy and love and mutual support
But why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage
And we don’t teach boys the same?
We raise girls to see each other as competitors
Not for jobs or for accomplishments
Which I think can be a good thing
But for the attention of men
We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings
In the way that boys are
Feminist: the person who believes in the social
Political, and economic equality of the sexes”

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