I need… // I need you… // I need You.

[peace & happy]

Life has thrown some upsets my way over the past few months…hell, it’s been coming my way for years now. But, as always, the undeserved blessings seem to always outweigh the (unavoidable?) bullshit, at least enough for me to recognize that someOne is looking out for me. Through a lot of thinking-reflection-prayer-conversations, recently /slash/ not so recently, I’ve gained some insight about things I need.

let’s (briefly) explore.

I need…
hugs, lots of hugs.
love and affection.
self-compassion.
reassurance.
clarity.

I need you…
to give me closure.
to acknowledge my successes, to recognize my struggles.
to explain why I wasn’t enough; it’s okay, I can take it.
to forgive me.
to tell me you love me one last time.
to tell me I’m beautiful.
to protect me; from what, I”m not exactly sure.
to need me, now, and not later.

I need You.

At the end of it all, I’ve learned that I need You. Nothing else really matters…and the rest of the stuff? well, it’ll come as it will, how it will. There is no greater peace than acknowledging this truth for myself.

“By Your Side” Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days?
why are you trying to earn grace?
why are you crying?
let Me lift up your face
just don’t turn away

why are you looking for love?
why are you still searching as if I’m not enough?
to where will you go child?
tell me, where will you run?

I’ll be by your side wherever you fall
in the dead of night whenever you call
and please don’t fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

’cause  I love you
I want you to know that I’ll love you
I’ll never let you go…”

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