it’s not me, it’s You.

[rejection & happy]

Rejection sucks.

no earth-shattering revelation there.

how we cope with it, however, makes a big difference.
let’s explore.

i’m no stranger to rejection. it happens. most times, i get over it pretty easily. why? because i chalk it up to the notion that some things simply aren’t meant to be.

still, rejection sucks.

over the past few years, i’ve experienced rejection at it’s finest…or not so finest given that, again, it sucks.
there was the one job I got declined a position for and the couple of rejection letters received from graduate schools.
then there are the recent million rejections no-interview notifications from the wonderful shitty necessary process that is the psychology internship match (still recovering from that bee-tea-dubbs).
then there was that one time with the breakup, which i somehow translated into “you’re not worth being in my life” in my head (kinda hard not to take that one personally).
then there were also the few wonderfully *sarcasm* chosen mates who rejected me during the week but seemingly changed their tune come Friday night. you know, the ones you expect to call you but don’t…until the weekend and vodka come around. but when you’re alone together, sober moments emphasize that feeling of lying next to a person you can feel is a million miles away, wishing you were too (this is the feeling i hate most. that gut-wrenching-pit-in-your-stomach-makes-you-question-your-worth feeling. but it happens mostly when i open myself up to hope and possibility…which i hope to never stop doing given the infinite possibilities of happy that await.)
there’s also that time I was stood up. unexpected rejection doesn’t necessarily feel better or worse. maybe bc the shitty feeling is divided between yourself and the other person. having someone to call a douche somehow seems change the way the rejection is felt.

no, this post isn’t about the rejection i’ve experienced or a(nother) woe-is-me-moment. it’s about how you can still be happy despite it…or, rather, in its company.

the key, for me, is reliance on the notion of “it’s not me, it’s You” when something/someone doesn’t work the way you intended. “You” may be belief in a supreme being, God, gods, a supreme force, spirits, or noble truths. For me, it’s God and my faith. The outcome of putting this idea into action is that the rejection gets placed outside of yourself, outside of blame and flaws and shitty feelings. Given the physical pain rejection elicits (seriously. it’s kinda crazy. read this if you don’t believe me…and maybe always keep Tylenol handy), I think this is helpful in allowing us/you/me to move forward when rejection presents itself. Not only that, but to learn from it, grow, become better. that’s what life’s about after all, no?


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