oh, i still dream of simple life
boy meets girl, makes her his wife
but love don’t exist when you live like this
that much i know, yes i know
all these roads steer me wrong but i still drive them all night long — bruno mars
dating your friends is never a good idea, people-friends. unless you’re sure it’s going to end in that i-married-my-best-friend-happily-ever-after way (which would super awesome and would make me super happy for you), i wouldn’t recommend it. i’ve lost touch with a lot of really cool people this way. [or go for it anyway. i’m obviously not the person to ask about these things.]
it’s a catch-22 of sorts (in the most this-actually-isn’t-a-serious-issue-because-some-people-actually-have-actual-difficult-choices-to-make-like-eating-or-paying-their-rent type of way). friends (most times) are awesome people you have cool connections with and like being around. what’s better than adding some physical attraction, romantic feelings, and (other?) extracurricular activities to that? nothing. (or maybe probably some things but whatever).
but then what do you do when that relationship ends? when mutual friends are involved and you have to hang out? when you get rejected and it’s over but still have to save face and be in the same room? when you see that person with someone else? when all you want is to just hang out again, like before you ruined it by taking a chance?
nothing. yes, folks; you do nothing. because if you do, you risk several things. 1. the person thinks you’re interested in rekindling whatever was lost/left when you really aren’t and they are and crushing of the heart ensues 2. the person thinks you’re interested in rekindling whatever was lost/left when you are and they aren’t and crushing of the heart ensues 3. you look like a stage 5 clinger, desperate for romantic attention when all you want is good hangoutage…and crushing of the heart ensues. (i guess there’s also option 4: the person thinks you’re interested in rekindling whatever was lost/left when you are and they are and all ends in sunshine and rainbows…but that shit never happens outside of nicolas-sparks-inspired movies so we won’t spend any more time on that.)
really, all i want is someone cool to play pool and drink beer with who can carry a conversation. maybe throw some darts. or watch some football. is a girl asking for too much here? probably. but it’s likely my own fault really, right? personal responsibility? nah, not for this one. human nature and society to blame? maybe.
i still think men and women can be friends if there’s honesty as to intention. if i end up falling for a friend bc they’re awesome company (or vice versa…because i’m kinda-sorta-most-times pretty awesome company), then it happens. aaand if one or the other or both realize it wasn’t what they thought it would be or it doesn’t play out as expected, then that happens too. i just sometimes wish there was like a jk button that could be pressed after said realization. i think that’d make the whole let’s-hang-out-again-since-we-actually-have-an-awesome-time-as-friends-but-just-happen-to-suck-as-a-couple thing a little easier. for reals.
what do you think? men & women as just friends or not-so-much?