Why I added Christian music to my playlist– or 3 changes I’ve maintained since my weekend away
After my weekend away, I made some major changes. Among them, I began listening to Christian music. I had an idea why but just a vague one, nothing solid. Until today. And then I realized there were other changes. Permanent in the sense that I feel like enough time has passed to feel secure about these changes. And I want to share them with you. Mostly, to encourage you to find your changes. again, this isn’t about religion or Christianity per se. that’s simply the means through which i’m acquiring and maintaining my change. Simply, I want to support you in making whatever small change you are seeking, being persistent with those changes, and, eventually, watching them them into habit. Even small changes that may be seemingly insignificant…like what radio station you listen to.
So what’s changed…or remained:
1. Christian music is playing in my car most times.
Here’s why: so I cry. A lot. my façade of the strong i.n.d.e.p.e.n.d.e.n.t. woman a la boosie is simply that…but not really. The whole non-emotional part of it might be at least. I actually do cry. More than I’d like at times, evidenced by my not being able to stop as talked about here. Chalk it up to hormones, depression, life’s struggles, over-reactions, overflow from constant lack of expression, or whatever other excuse can be used. But the truth aside from the reason is that this usually happens during a select few circumstances –> after having one too many drinks, when in physical pain as I can use this as an excuse, or while listening to certain genres of music.
Another why: I’m tired of love songs. I’m kinda getting tired of love. But not really. I’m actually finally ready for it. I’m just tired of the pressures that accompany love. and the disappointments. and the hurt. and the negative self-evaluation that often accompanies all this. and, most music on the radio is about love. Even the ones that aren’t. like this one (they don’t even pretend to not be heartbroken! take a read or a listen: “If “Happy Ever After” did exist, I would still be holding you like this. All those fairy tales are full of shit. One more fucking love song, I’ll be sick.”…i feel ya, homies, i feel ya). After my weekend away, KLove was recommended. I tuned in. I listened. I loved it.
A final why: the songs are about love, but about a different kind. A less superficial one. An enduring one. plus, they allow me to reflect on how much I have been blessed with, how much I have to be thankful for, and how little I should complain. I can listen without distress. or sadness. or negativity. Plus, I can still sing at the top of my lungs with the windows down while driving way past the speed limit in my little boxcar. Definitely a win-win.
2. Prayer has continued…along with family time and self-care
Morning and night. Again, more positive coping. While late nights-and-dancing-and-inebriation are definitely entertaining at times, given that they often ended in that lonely all-is-not-right-with-the-world-pity-party, I kinda wanna avoid them til I can go out and party like a rockstar without this. so prayer is definitely to credit for this. and, I’ve opted for more time with family (like watching a movie with my little sis, or exchanging workout tips with my little brother, or helping my dad with housework, or wonderfully insightful and supportive conversations with my Mexican mother) aaaand still continue to make time for me (which at the moment is quite the tightrope-balance between gym and practices and homework and writing). so far so good. winning. fo sho.
3. I joined a choir
Yup, folks, it finally happened; after 8 years away, I joined another choir. After doing it formally for 7+ years in my younger days (because it really feels like I’m a 60-something year old spinster instead of the 20-something year old eligible and quite wonderfully amazing bachelorette that I am **brushes dirt off shoulder**). But for reals, I’m singing again! And it’s totes craze amaze! (side note: remind me never to make that reference again). I’m working my way up to a solo but, for now, I am absolutely in love with the feeling i get while doing so and am meeting some pretty amazing people during the process. again, win.win.
What I learned from this list: I.got.this. and I’m hella proud of myself. (other side note: omit “hella” from vocabulary). Practice turns into habit. So keep at it peoplefriends. do it to it. aaaand go!