My happy now – or 5 reasons I still believe in my Sunday kind of love
“Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of its trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse for impossibility, for it thinks all things are lawful for itself and all things are possible.” Thomas A. Kempis
So I’ve found that sometimes, with exhaustion of doing and overdoing and redoing what had been missing from life, like I talked about here, thoughts of what else is missing creep in. Before, this was a bad thing since it involved love and all that jazz. Why? Well, because I would be spurred into my usual cycle of looking for love in all the wrong places. ((side note: you should reread that line like you’re singing the song; trust me, it might add some happy to your day)). And then, I’d turn to cynicism and false claims of fear of commitment and thoughts of running away or self-deprecating over-assumptions. But now? Oh, now! Well…I still find some of that cynicism and fear lingering, background noise if you will. Buuut I’ve mostly found a sort of peace and acceptance, trusting His plan and not giving up on my idea of a Sunday kind of love. Here’s why:
- After watching This is 40, I found The Lake House showing on t.v., decided to watch it, and it didn’t, I repeat didn’t leave me rolling my eyes, thinking “happily ever after doesn’t happen; it’s a buncha bull.” Instead it left me hopeful. And excited for one day. You know, that day when I’ll have that kind of happy, the one filled with ups and downs and makeups and sorrys and mostly, I love yous. Yup, that one.
- Everyone’s getting married and having babies…and, I love it! Again, I’m not rolling my eyes at this one. (though, I don’t think I literally roll my eyes; that’d just be rude. But I think my heart used to in its own way, making moments like those more about lamenting what I lacked and less about celebrating what others had). Now, hearing the news of welcoming life or upcoming nuptials is celebrated. it excites me for the day I’ll have those moments. and brings me happy. because they’re happy.
- I’ve been meeting many faith-filled, faith-driven people, couples, individuals with common beliefs in this area. This tells me it’s possible, to have someone stand beside you as you journey together, strengthened and supported by an outside purpose. I haven’t had good examples of this in my life in the past but, as is my life, this type of relationship has been placed in my path most recently through various interactions, friends and strangers. I see friends, couples, individuals who embody this. and it’s pretty effing awesome to see.
- He has a plan for me…and my heart finally believes it. It took a lil while for my heart to catch up to my head; what can I say, it’s a slow learner…good thing I’m learning patience during this journey
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
- I watched He’s Just Not That Into You, which solidified my belief in knowing, feeling, believing that I will end up where He needs me, experiencing what is needed…all of it, and, most importantly, never giving up hope in my happy ending now.
“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we’re told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we’re so focused on finding our happy ending we don’t learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don’t, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn’t include a guy, maybe… it’s you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope…”