4 reasons/ways I’m detoxing my life
- I started feel unfilled with my faith/I’m going on my first church retreat
I’ve always been a faith-filled and spiritual person. through my choice. I’ve sought ways to grow in my faith. independently of others, of support, or expectations. I’ve actively looked for ways to grow in my faith. Actually, that’s not the full truth. I’ve actively looked for ways to grow in my faith…but never truly did anything about it. Aside from going to mass almost-weekly and a prayer at night and maybe in the morning, I did little else. I started to feel unfilled with this. Instead of my usual thinking, I figured I’d do. So, I signed up for my first church retreat. It’s in a couple of days and I don’t know what to expect. Buuut I know it’s what I need…I can feel it’s what I need. And I’m excited about this. It’s been awhile since I’ve been excited about my faith. And, for me, this is good. really good. I think that this is a great way to make more space for the good and rid myself of the bad (not in the you’re-full-of-sin-you’ve-gotta-repent-Catholic-guilt sorta way, but more in the centering-yourself-filling-your-day-with-prayer-and-finding-what-works-for-you-with-regards-to-your-faith sense).
- I started binging…again/I did a 3-day cleanse
I’ve talked about my unhealthy relationship when it comes to body image and food and all the whatnots that are related to this. Or I’ve at least alluded to it. Many times. Attempting and re-attempting to redefine my biutiful. Well, recently, as in the-past-4-months recently, I fell back to bad habits…in a bad way. Remember that cycle? Yup. It wasn’t pretty. Well, in the middle of the recently, I recognized it and tried this 3-day cleanse. Getting through it despite allergies kicking my ass wasn’t easy. But I did it. Aaaand then, immediately following the 3rd day, I binged. Mah-jor-lee. Let’s just say it was Easter weekend and I’m Mexican so you best believe there was a barbeque with every pit-smoke-able meat you can imagine and at least 5 different sides and just as many desserts…plus beer. Lots.and.lots.of.beer. so I tried the cleanse again. this time around? It’s been good. really good. I’m taking a different approach to food: healthy and satiated in place of limits and guilt.
- I was disconnected from my family (in both space and feeling)/I’m making time to reconnect, even if in simple moments
so I have this problem with balance. I know I’ve talked about it before. but one of the major downfalls to this is that because I try to do sooo much, I end up filling my day from dawn til dusk with whatever it is I feel I should be doing. This, unfortunately/horribly/non-purposefully ends up leaving me no time to spend with my immediate family…despite the fact that we live under the same roof. [brief history: I left home when I was 17 and “lived” my life, wanting escape. After the breakup, at the age of 23, I found myself in the only place unconditional love existed for me (despite my complaints of the conditions often placed) – home. In it were my Mexican mother and father, my two younger siblings, aaaand 4 dogs…plus my pup. yup. let’s not go there today.] so yes, despite my 5 year absence and disconnection, I didn’t take advantage of having them at my fingertips. instead, I filled my days ((and nights)). Sometimes, I wouldn’t see my dad for 3 or 4 days because he would be asleep by the time I came home and I would leave before he would awake. This bothers bothered me. So, I’m changing it. Conversations with my Mexican mother. Random outings/dinner in my room/lunch with my sister. Errands with my brother. Playtime with my nephew. Being home to tell my father good night. Sure, I know I can do more. I’m working toward it. But I’m no longer riddled with guilt or kicking myself for not doing more. I’m doing. That’s a good step, a good change.
- I was getting too connected (to my phone)/I’m disconnecting (from my phone)…or at least limiting use and connection with superficial
I have this thing: i check my phone. a lot. a lot A lot. like for reals, it’s a problem. Admittedly, I mostly do it to see if you’ve called or texted. Even though I know you haven’t. This is a sign that, while I’m doing better at the whole placing-my-worth-in-my-own-hands thing, I’m not completely there. And that’s okay. Just means I’ve gotta keep working. So, I’m limiting my connection with my phone. Or at least attempting to. Things like removing the Facebook app from my phone so I don’t get notifications unless I log on. Changing my homepage on my phone’s browser, replacing social media sites with actual news (…ESPN counts as news, right? We’ll go with yes on that one). Leaving my phone in my locker at the gym instead of carrying it around with me. Keeping my phone in my backpack or purse instead of in my lap or in the door handle space in my car while driving. Little.things.big.impact.keep.doing.
What this list tells me: detoxing can be an amazing thing. Simply, ridding your body/mind/soul of all of the bad stuff is good. at least that which is in your control. And so I’m doing it. Again, I feel that this time’s different. There a deeper realization of the importance of the need to do these things this time around. Andplusalso, there’s a more holistic approach being taken. I’m not only focusing on the physical, which has been in the past what I’ve highlighted, what I’ve ((mistakenly)) placed most importance on. Instead, I’m including all the things that are important to me, me as “Clouds, the human being” not “Clouds, the I-need-to-look-good-to-feel-good being.” So yes, detoxing, ridding yourself of toxins (in whatever form they come) can be amazing, if done for the right reasons. What are some ways/reasons you detox?