Confession #6: I’m quiet and unassuming…and no longer give an eff what you think about that
I used to apologize for being “quiet” or “boring” or not always wanting to go out. While this apology may slip out now and then in form of a knee-jerk reaction, I don’t do it much anymore. Mostly, I stopped giving as many fucks in this area of life. True story.
Biggest thing was that I realized I shouldn’t have to apologize for this. This is me. the real me. And, as someone who is constantly working toward bettering myself (in more of a “i want to serve other and the world as best i can” sense and not the “i’m striving toward perfect” notion), I don’t necessarily equate “better” with “louder.” Someone I admire deeply once told me that the phrase “still waters run deep” was something that he felt pertained to me. I like that. I really like that. Just because I’m not sharing my thoughts at all hours of the day, doesn’t mean I’m not thinking. I’m actually always thinking…if you couldn’t tell by this interweb space where I think and write and think s’mores.
I am also not a huge fan of bringing attention to myself. Sure, i can go out, dance the night away, socialize like nobody’s business. I can mingle and small-talk and hold superficial conversations to make superficial connections. but the thing I love most is being lost in a crowd with one other person. or connecting at a deep level than otherwise possible. or simply being with one other at home, enjoying conversation in between wine and connection. or being alone, riding or running or simply being. Take a second to imagine this for yourself. It’s actually quite amazing in my opinion (if you have the right person to share this with or are in a positive state if alone). …done imagining? Okay, I’ll give you another minute or two…
what I learned from this confession: I am okay with being quiet and unassuming…so you should be too. …or don’t be okay with it; I still will. I kinda-actually-really love it.
Related yet unrelated yet pretty much on track: