[on relationships & happy]
i wasn’t going to write today. correction, i had every intention of writing today. not about this though. about something else. about what the title alludes to. about how i figured out the grinch didn’t steal christmas after all. about how it came together in it’s own way. about how the grinch attempted, very much so, to steal my christmas away. about how Charlie Brown ended up saving it.
i planned on writing today. but not about this. not about how
friendships, amicable relationships end. not about how efforts were rejected and gifts returned. now about how i felt rejected. not about how i’ve experienced loss or endings before and accepted them but never on this day or in this manner. not about how my judgment was off, way off, despite days of contemplation.
i was going to write today. but my heart hurts
too much, a little, enough. it’s hurt too much before. it’s not like that. it’s hurt a little before too. it’s not like that either. it hurts enough not to write. enough to distract me from the past day’s memories of laughter and love and happy.
so, i won’t write today. not about this. not about those things.
but i will write
tomorrow, later, soon. about part 2. about things worth space and time and sharing. about things that add to my happy, not detract from it. about things that can add to your happy. in your own way. like experiencing a Charlie Brown Christmas despite its grinchy beginnings.