“don’t think I don’t think about it” — on regrets ((or whatever you call it))

[on regrets & happy]

Between the work. and the hurt. and the whiskey…
ever had that “should’ve” moment? or the “what if” that lingers in the air, stale to the taste, after a decision, action, reaction?

When asked about regrets, I’ve always said (and will probably continue this trend of replying): nope. no regrets on my end. As I see it, have I had things in my past that perhaps I would have liked to see go a little differently? Definitely! Now, do I think that those events led to others which led to others that eventually brought me to where I am today? Undoubtedly. And, do I believe that those things plus the good and bad and blessings to come will lead me to the exact place and space I’m supposed to be? Unquestionably.

So, do I have any regrets, in the most recognized sense of the word? Nope. No regrets on my end.

With that said, that doesn’t mean I don’t think about it, in the words of Hootie.

“Don’t think I don’t wonder ’bout
Could’ve been should’ve been all worked out…”

Typically, these thoughts turn to action. reaching out when I “shouldn’t.” being hurt when it “could’ve” been avoided. I use quotations because I feel these are judgments. judgments that serve no actual purpose for myself. Like I said, those should’ves and could’ves didn’t lead me to my present place. It is because of my actions, reactions, inactions that I am where I am. today. in the grand scheme of things adding to my happy.

But again, I have my moments of reflection. of questioning. …of thinking. I feel like I’m going in circles here but I’m going to go with it. I feel it’s reflective of my life, this going in circles thing; a parallel process if you will.

“When we make choices we gotta live with them…”

Mostly, I guess I just wonder at times if I made/make/will make the “right” decision or choice. or maybe not even that. Maybe I wonder if I held on long enough. You know, long enough for that individual, situation, interaction to affect life as intended….

“You are free to make your own choice but ultimately your choices make you” — CD Sutherland

so “don’t think I don’t think about it
Don’t think I don’t have regrets
Don’t think it don’t get to me
Between the work and the hurt and the whiskey…”

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