[on lessons & happy]
So I’ve been 25 for a little over a week now. In that time, I’ve made a lot of discoveries about life. and love. and happiness. For those of you thinking, “how can you possibly learn those things in a week?? Over exaggerate much about life learnings ma’am?” Well people-friends, I thought about that too. Over-exaggeration? perhaps. Awesomely good at drawing conclusions and a superfast learner? more likely 🙂
but I digress.
My point is this: life has thrown situations that have resulted in conclusions being made and discoveries being unearthed. and, I thought I should share them with you all.
In no particular order, here are my 25 on 25:
1. Quarter-life crises are short lived once you realize the amazingness and blessed nature of the life you’ve had
2. When “beer before liquor, never sicker” continues to hold true and “liquor then beer, you’re in the clear” loses its truth, “liquor all night, you’ll be alright” becomes a faithful new motto…until you turn 30
3. Steve Harvey has some good advice on acting like a lady, thinking like a man: wait 90 days to give up the cookie.
4. Z-Ro also has some good advice: Ain’t nothing wrong, with a little bump and grind…(fair warning: click on the link at your own discretion; he, as you can assume, is a fan of a little bump and grind among other explicit activities)
5. Learning where you fall/where you want to fall in terms of # 3 & 4 and being okay with that because it’s your decision is quite empowering. It doesn’t mean you’re a prude. It doesn’t mean you’re a whore. It means what you want it to mean.
6. Having your first surprise party at 25 is potentially the greatest gift ever
7. The feeling you get when you find out your ex-fiance is engaged to be married is…unexplainable.
8. Realizable that feeling (in the aforementioned discovery) is not one of shattering pain, unbearable loss, or foundation-shaking sadness is very reassuring in the whole moving-on-with-life-and-I’m-certain-of-it sense
9. Vulnerability is necessary.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.” ― Brené Brown
10. Class over swag, ladies. Class over swag.
11. You know you’re (becoming) a mature adult when your conversations with your best friends begin to entail subjects such as 401Ks, credit scores, helping siblings with college, and the housing market.
12. Music will always have a way of describing the indescribable, providing words & sound & rhythm to unverbalizable emotion through Jazz, Blues, Soul, Hip Hop, corridos, and other forms
13. Always striving to do better, be better is a good thing…but so is giving yourself credit for what you’ve already accomplished
14. Realizing that you can now stand in front of 25 college students, teaching and speaking confidently when a few years prior you often went entire semesters without being able to utter a single word in class is a pretty cool feeling
15. “The art of writing is the art of discovering what you believe.” Gustave Flaubert
16. “play hard. work hard. live well.”
17. It’s okay not to be okay. No matter what it is, you will find a way to get past it and move forward.
Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final — R.M.Rilke
18. We all have different ways of coping. It’s the choosing helpful but eventually over potentially harmful but immediate that tends to be challenging. As a Paralympic athlete, bodybuilder, and client I had the pleasure of working with once said: “Some people plant flowers. I punch people in the face.”
19. There are assholes still left in the world. It’s not your job to make excuses for them. Not everyone is well-intentioned.
20. Complain less, appreciate more. You’ll be thankful you did in the end.
“We inhabit ourselves without valuing ourselves, unable to see that here, now, this very moment is sacred; but once it’s gone — it’s value is incontestable.” -J.C. Oates
23. Faith in something bigger than yourself can be motivating, encouraging, helping, healing…
24. “…all this randomness is leading to a perfect moment.”
25. You are enough. I am enough. We are enough.
Those are my 25. What are yours?