(.scattered thoughts on love and happiness..but they all really do tie together.)
Realization (and by “realization” I mean “hit you in the face, white flags waving” realization):
the wrong kind of love is worse than no love at all and will not bring you closer to happiness.
Many of you may respond with “duuuh!” “no shit, Sherlock!” (pardon the language friends) or some other developmentally appropriate form of saying “of course!” I got to thinking about how much it interferes with mastering the art of happiness. Yes, love can be painful. But that is not necessarily the deterrent. It is actually helpful in the process of learning, and growing, and discovering your true self. What seems to be the challenge or maybe disruption in this journey is when that wrong kind of love shakes you so much that you lose yourself. doubt yourself. question your true self. This, friends, will definitely not bring you closer to happiness. Obv.
Given that, no love (in the intimate relationship meaning and not general love from friends and family sense) is not that bad. It allows you to discover yourself in the most vulnerable, real, truly intimate way possible. You
discover rediscover who you are. your values. your hopes. and your likings. you. I think this journey, whether short or long or in-between, makes you better for yourself. and for your future. You become a better you..or at least I have.
Finally, I love Sundays. And apparently, love loves Sundays. Or at least those seeking, feeling, experiencing love love Sundays and want a relationship that mirrors the day:
Etta James sings she wants a “Sunday kind of love.”
India Arie states her love is “easy like Sunday morning.”
Craig Morgan talks about what he “loves about Sundays.”
*these are just some of the many examples of how wonderful Sunday can be.
I’ve been asked many times what I am looking for in a partner. My answers are usually pretty vague. I can’t find a way to describe the feeling I am looking for.
I can give the more superficial answer: handsome. nice arms. charming. caring. funny. nice smile. understand, speaks, or appreciates the Spanish language. motivated. successful (in the most basic having-a-career-or-working-toward-one way, not the gold-digger-gimme-your-money sense)..the list can go on but we’ll end it there.
I can give the romantic answer: going back to basics, sung best by Pedrito Fernandez in “amarte a la antigua.” flowers, poetry, letters, romantic songs, chocolates, walks in the park. any gesture to show caring. and love. and appreciation.
Or I can give the most honest, basic answer possible: because really, all I am seeking is one thing, one thing only (I might be being greedy with this one) and that is: healing love. What’s that you ask? Great question! Well it’s exactly what it sounds like. Love that heals. Period. I think it’s what everyone deserves. Agreed?
“He Heals Me” by India Arie
I told him my biggest secret
And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said that makes me love more
And then he made me laugh
And I knew it was a sign
That he was a man,
That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day
I feel more and more of that way
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line,
And even when I’m wrong, he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I’m not right.
And yes he is a beautiful man,
But he is also a beautiful friend
The moment that we met, he made me smile.
He has so much compassion in his eyes
I have no idea, how long he’ll be here
A season or a lifetime, forever or a year
But for the first time in my life I’m not worried about the future
Because we have such a wonderful time when we’re together
However things turn out, it’s all right
Cause he’s already changed my life.